How do you deal with problems? You internalize, sometimes you write them down, sometimes you just explode because it’s all too much. I’d say that’s relatively normal behavior for any one of us.
But the problem of dealing with issues and internalizing can become a little more complex when you’re influenced and affected by an influx of external factors.
For me, anger has always been a prominent fixture in my life. People outside of my immediate circle wouldn’t see it, those closer to me would recognize it but those who know me intimately would understand it.
So, this is where the problem arises.
Those external to me would see an outburst or a ‘venting’ session as dramatic, childish even.
Does this then become a game of saving face? Am I meant to completely explain my behaviour to strangers just so they can take a step back and begin to understand why I’m acting the way I am? Or is this something that I don’t have to explain? I personally don’t believe I owe anyone anything but, the world we live in makes it impossibly hard to function that way.
Now let me be clear about one thing. It’s always a risk to talk about one’s issues without sounding like you’re starting a pissing contest. This isn’t about my problem being bigger than yours, it isn’t even about trying to make someone think about my problem in a way that makes them feel sorry for me. I’m not about that, I don’t need pity, sympathy or whatever the hell else makes someone feel like they’re contributing to society on a band aid level.
What this is about, is perspective.
When the current climate is a shitstorm of stories on the news talking about rape and murder and you know that 1 in 6 women (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, 20 February 2018) are affected by some form of sexual assault. It’s safe to assume that someone in your workplace, gym or circle of friends is having a hard time. Maybe this is a good opportunity to reassess your perspective in the grand scheme of things and step back to consciously look at your own behavior.
Everyone is entitled to their moment of drama, everyone is allowed to have a tough time and wallow. But understand that having a whinge about the lack of organic options or how tough it is that you couldn’t get your daily yoga session in, is going to seem a little tone-deaf when someone is trying to get over a chunk of their life that had been stolen from them.
And the hardest part of sending this message is the obtuse question: how am I meant to know that someone has been through something?
That’s the question of the century folks, and the answer is so simple you might just get baffled by it.
Just be aware. That’s it.
Simple, isn't it? Be aware, be conscious and have some regard for your surroundings, for what people may have seen and been through without having to actually ask because this will not only make you a better person, you might actually start appreciating your own life more.
In saying all of this, I’m not about slamming people, I believe everyone is entitled to feeling bummed out or down. But the main idea behind this story is understanding.
You don’t know everyone’s story, you don’t know what they’re battling at home, what they’ve suffered through and how hard they may be working at keeping a smile on their face just to make it out of bed every morning.
So, take a moment to think about what someone sitting beside you might be going through or feeling.
They’re not going to openly tell you, they’re not going to say, “hey mate, I can’t help you deal with your coffee drama this morning because
I’m shattered inside hearing about all this tragic news and I’m working really hard to be here today.”
It won’t hurt you to stop and think. But it might make you see the world a little clearer.